Wind Turbines.

I should go take better photos than these, but I was driving by and didn’t have my fancy camera, so phone snaps will have to do for now.

Here’s a photo of a wind turbine I saw this weekend at the powwow. I thought the juxtaposition of the modern and the old was really interesting.

Here’s a Wikipedia article on wind farms. Here’s one on wind turbines. I’m a big fan of wind energy, partly because there are no losers in the whole process and being from Kansas, I’m pleased any time farmers find a way to make their farms make money, even if it’s a non-traditional money-maker.

They’re storing pieces to several wind turbines at a vacant lot just outside of town. Every time I see a section of one of these suckers, I’m floored at how big they seem. Here’s a photo that shows the parts to a stem of a turbine-the red circle denotes where a couple of men were working to give you an idea of size.

You’ll notice-there’s a lot of water in this photo. We’ve had a lot of flooding here recently, and this is an area that often floods.

Here’s a photo of the blades.

It’s Powwow time again.

Once again this year,  we traveled to a wind-swept patch of prairie outside LeRoy, Illinois, for the Grand Village of Kickapoo Powwow. As usual, it was thought-provoking and very entertaining.

Some photos…this was by far the cutest sight of the day. I’m assuming this was a father dancing with his two little girls. I wish I’d gotten a better shot. I also think this might be the man I took photos of that I posted last year.

Another one of him dancing alone…

These are photos of the head man dancer.

It was a beautiful day, and I can’t recommend pow wows highly enough as a relaxing way to spend a day honoring the true pioneers.

Ted Drewes.

Sean grew up in St. Louis, and Ted Drewes was something he grew up with. I discovered it some time later after we started dating. And good thing, too, because it’s just the best frozen treat ever.

We visited on a recent trip to The Lou, and the excitement was such that I was unable to take a straight photo…

I always get the hot fudge sundae. It’s the perfect topping to set off the super-smooth texture of the frozen custard.

We’re just going to pretend that it was diet friendly, okay?

Not-so perfect day for baseball.

Sean and I decided to take in another St. Louis Cardinals game, and this is just the beginning of what we got:

Notice the looming storm clouds? Yep, it rained. A LOT.

We were fortunate enough to be sitting under an overhang, though, so we didn’t get too wet. The game was just as awful as the weather, though, as the Cards got trounced 14 to 4, with 9 of those points coming in the first three innings. So the game was pretty much hopeless from the get-go.

We also were fortunate enough to take in Eddie Izzard live on Friday night. He’s incredibly funny-catch him live sometime if you get a chance.

Perfect Day For Baseball.

We try every year to make it to a St. Louis Cardinals game before the weather gets too warm-I am NOT a hot weather fan. So we nabbed a couple of seats for cheap and headed to The Lou for a day at the park.

We were hugely fortunate with our seats…while our original seats were pretty good, during the third inning we decided to move to a couple of seats that were a section away from ours and the second row from the field. Here was our view:

It was a lovely day for a game-in the low 60’s. Even so, I managed to sunburn the heck out of my right hand and face-and I even used sunscreen!

The Cardinals managed to pull out a win in the 9th inning, making it an even better day for baseball. On top of everything else, it was free hat day! Free hat-score!

In other news, I have another, and I’m hoping my last for a while, ECT treatment tomorrow morning. I’ll write a follow-up for that shortly.

The Reduced Shakespeare Company.

On Saturday, Sean and I were lucky enough to see the Reduced Shakespeare Company do Complete Hollywood, Abridged. If you’re not familiar with them, let me introduce you through these Youtube clips..

RSC: Romeo & Juliet (Part 1 of 2)

RSC: Romeo & Juliet (Part 1 of 2)

RSC: Othello Rap.

RSC: Biography Of William Shakespeare.

RSC: Hamlet Part 1.

RSC: Hamlet Part 2.

RSC: Hamlet Part 3.

RSC: Hamlet Part 4.

Those are from their Complete Works Of William Shakespeare, Abridged. This is a GREAT show that I first saw when the RSC came to Southwestern College when I was a student there. We actually got to work with the guys as most of the theatre department was involved in setting up the stage, lights, etc.

At any rate, if they do any of their productions where you have the opportunity to see them, do it! It’s a fun evening!

Nightime panic.

Of late I’ve been having a lot of nighttime panic. This is the worst feeling in the world-sleep is supposed to be the safest cocoon of peaceful slumber, but for many people, it’s not.

From The American Sleep Apnea Association:

About 50% of all patients with panic disorder have nocturnal panic attacks, but most of the events will be happening during daytime activities. Research shows that only 10.2% of all panic attacks happen at night, but patients might be more severely concerned about these events.

A significant number of patients are afraid of the nighttime and do expect a loss of control or severe somatic consequences like a heart attack, stroke or other irrational cause of death. Of course this is most unlikely!

We know that most panic attacks are NOT caused by dreams. Records of sleep polysomnographia show a maximum of panic attacks during early sleep phase (phase II), not during the REM-phases associated with dreams. This is a major difference to nightmares! Nightmares happen during the second half of the night, so we are often able to remember the content of these dreams.

Pavor nocturnus is a very specific type of sleeping disorder, more common among children. It is defined by a sudden avakening with crying, strong anxiety symptoms and vegetative symptoms like heart palpitations, short breathening and sweating. This type of sleeping problems occur during deep phases of sleep (phase IV).
Arousals caused by sleep apnea syndromes are usually not characterized by extreme anxiety symptoms. But this sleep disorder might have an effect on the origin of panic attacks, because sleep apnea has an impact on heart frequency and blood pressure. Chronic arousal of anxiety during night could be a kind of dysfunctional protection against apnea during night.

The exact causes for panic attacks at night are not known. Other possible causes include an increase of CO2-concentration (False Suffocation alarm hypothesis) or changes of the parasympathotonic system due to autonomic dysfunction.

So panic attacks at night will be mainly influenced by the events of the last day, consumption of alcohol or drugs and a general higher arousal due to the anxiety disorder of the client.

I’m not sure why the number of sleep-time panic attacks I’m having have increased-probably just because the panic disorder itself has increased one hundred fold in the last year or so.

I wake feeling as if I’ve been punched in the gut. Often, I feel like I have no ability to breathe fully. Just like the daytime panic, I get a terrible, terrible ache behind my sternum. My arms feel like I’ve been shocked-it’s a unique feeling that I get with nothing else in my life. It’s as if I’ve had boiling water pumped into the veins of my arms.

For me, unlike the daytime panic, the nighttime panic has no cause. Which almost makes it harder-it’s hard to come down off a cliff when you have no idea where the cliff is.

More about the LMA..

Answering a question from the comments section…

Why do they use the laryngeal mask in your case? We seldom use it, in all those years we used it for one patient who had an exceptional large beard which made the ventilation troublesome.
Regards Dr Shock

I’m not totally sure what the issue is. I know for my first treatment, they ran out of any other kind of mouth guards-as I understand it, the one that’s normally used looks a little like the trays they use to get impressions of your teeth when you’re at the dentist.

But I was told that kind doesn’t work for me when they tried it during the second treatment. Maybe I have a small airway?

I’m sort of just guessing at this part of the treatments, actually. I usually don’t remember to ask for specifics about that part.

After ECT Number 6, And Don’t Forget To Give Blood!

It’s official-the nurses and staff of the hospital where I get ECT treatments think I’m the most loony of patients they’ve had. And considering you have to be a little crazy to get ECT in the first place, that’s saying a lot!

Why do they think I’m loony? Because I asked if I could take this home:

It’s the LMA-Larygeal mask airway, which has given me so much trouble when waking from the anaesthesia following the ECT treatments.

This is, by FAR, the worst part of the treatments for me, as I’ve mentioned before. But it’s not a common problem for patients, so if you’re reading this while contemplating ECT, please don’t think you’re going to have issues with it like I have. Nor will you necessarily have to use it-there are other options, which just didn’t work for me so I’m stuck with the LMA.

From Wikipedia, here’s how it’s used:

Laryngeal mask airways come in a variety of sizes. The cuff of the mask is deflated before insertion and lubricated. The patient is anaesthetized if conscious, and their neck is extended and their mouth opened widely. The apex of the mask, with its open end pointing downwards toward the tongue, is pushed backwards towards the uvula. It follows the natural bend of the oropharynx and comes to rest over the pyriform fossa. Once placed, the cuff around the mask is inflated with air to create a tight seal. Air entry is confirmed by listening for air entry into the lungs with a stethoscope, or by presence of end tidal carbon dioxide.

I just thought it was interesting enough to include in the blog.

At any rate, I’ve finished treatment number 6.  I feel like it might be helping, but my issues with panic have been flaring up badly, so it’s hard to tell. My family thinks they can se the difference, so that’s something that’s not insignificant, in my mind. I would do the treatments if I never saw a change, but my family found me easier to handle.

In other matters, I donated blood on Thursday, so it’s time for my six-times a year reminder that giving blood is relatively pain free (although I gotta say,  between ECT and donating blood, I’m a little weary of needles!) and can save the lives of three people. Do it! Now!

ECT, treatment number four.

Today I had treatment number four. I’m assuming I’ll have around 8, so it’s kind of nice to know we’re halfway there.

Nothing too terribly exciting about today’s experience, but I do have a bit of a headache, which I’d not gotten to this point. But it’s not unexpected-it’s one of the common side effects.

A couple of questions to answer…

Can you tell me how you are getting on now? Has ECT helped or is it helping you?

I’m getting on okay. I’m still having some trouble, but I think I can tell that the ECT is helping. In fact, my husband says I’m more animated that I used to be-and believe me, animated was NOT something I have been in the last couple of years.

Treating depression is a giant, miserable, hell-hole of a waiting game. ECT, as many medications, takes a little time to feel like there’s any progress. Fortunately, with ECT, it’s a matter of a week or two, as opposed to thee three  or four weeks you can get with some medications. I’m hopeful that I will start feeling better very soon.

One thing the ECT is not doing, and I don’t expect it to, is help the panic disorder, which is robbing me of any kind of enjoyment of life. I am hoping, though, with a base of a reduced depression, that the panic will become easier to handle.